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04 November 2016 @ 07:28 pm
Appointment with Dr. today.  
This last week has not been pleasant in terms of my anxiety—it was almost like all of the cognitive behavioral therapy went right out of the window, and nothing I tried would work. I’ve tried to keep myself busy, but nothing has helped. We went to see Dr. Strange yesterday afternoon, and I had a massive panic attack midway through. Talk about going from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. It came on quickly and was over just as fast, and for no bloody apparent reason whatsoever. I was thankfully near the exit and was able to leave the auditorium so I wouldn't disturb the other people there. I missed a good chunk of the movie, but was able to see the end.

Then the guilt, God the guilt I felt when we were going back home, when it hit me that I had managed to ruin yet another night out that we rarely get to have because of work and other family obligations. Ryan never complained, love his heart, but I know it has to be hard to deal with.

I called in to work today and made an appointment to see my doctor. Went in with chattering teeth, sweaty hands, and a BP reading of 142/96, very nearly on the verge of another panic attack. Thank goodness for my saint of a husband, because without him there I doubt I could have gotten a word out coherently. I also think he was able to more accurately tell my doctor what I’ve been going through because he sees it firsthand, whereas I just feel like I am going clinically insane.

I left with a prescription for Celexa and Hydroxyzine.

I hope this helps, because I am at wit's end with all of this crap.
LaraLeelaralee88 on November 12th, 2016 08:26 pm (UTC)
I am doing much better...and I have not taken any of the medication I was given. I've been using Meditation, daily journaling, very involved coloring books to keep me occupied during down times, and nearly constant self reminders that everything will be fine. It seems to be working, and I feel physically better too. I go back December 3rd for my follow up.

I wanted to wait to see if my appointment with my therapist would help and it did. Also, removing negative people from my life has done wonders as well. I'm a fixer and when I can't fix things I get anxious and worry.

Like I told Hbart, I can't control other people's negativity, but I can control how long I participate in it, and I'm learning not to feel guilty about simply telling folks that I can't handle them and their problems in addition to my own.

I am doing better, and I will continue to do so with more time.

Edited at 2016-11-12 08:27 pm (UTC)
orlando_switchorlando_switch on November 12th, 2016 08:45 pm (UTC)
Oh I am glad you are doing better and I thnk it's a very wise decision to limit your exposure to other people's negativity.